Boobs and blood: it's so bad it's good

Torture porn meets softcore porn in Piranha 3D, a throwback to trashy '80s drive-in horror flicks with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Boobs and blood are the order of the day as scores of prehistoric piranha are unleashed on a lake during spring break.

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

Drew Barrymore's latest romantic comedy might be a half-baked version of 500 Days of Summer, but there is much to enjoy in this (rather epic) tale of a long-distance relationship. The situations are genuine, real-life couple Barrymore and Justin Long have a nice quirky chemistry and the supporting characters deliver an abundance of laughs.

Twilight spoof really, truly sucks

Fox's legal department panicked when Vampires Suck leaked online in its entirety a whole month before its US release. They were right to send numerous takedown requests to torrent sites and Google, because Vampires Suck shouldn't be seen on a computer screen.

Female action hero worthy of Bond or Bourne

The camera loves Angelina Jolie. She has a face you could stare at for hours, an otherworldly beauty that justifies her celebrity status. Fortunately, she's also a superb actress and she brings her A-game to Salt, an action-packed political thriller directed by Australian filmmaker Phillip Noyce.

Superbad star with superpowers

Scott Pilgrim vs the World is a bit like Kill Bill: Volume 1: they're both movies that are mostly icing, very little cake.

That's not a put-down. While it's light on plot, Scott Pilgrim is one of the most visually impressive, energetic and downright fun movies of the year.

Great cast, expendable script

The Expendables assembles one of the greatest casts in action movie history. You'd think, if it was powerful enough to bring Schwarzenegger out of filmic hibernation (and not to mention entice Willis, Rourke and Austin to sign on as glorified set pieces), it would have been a quality script, or at the very least, a quality premise, but it seems from the get-go writer-director Sylvester Stallone only set out to create the most enticing film poster ever.

Political thriller with few thrills

The Ghost Writer should be an incredibly enjoyable movie to watch.

With Ewan McGregor in the lead as an unnamed wordsmith, Pierce Brosnan as former British Prime Minister Adam Lang and Kim Cattrall as Lang's aide Amelia Bly, this stellar cast should be able to carry the movie — but they can't.

Book adaptation an Aussie success story

Suspenseful and action packed, Tomorrow, When the War Began is a successful big-screen adaptation of John Marsden's beloved novel.

Director Stuart Beattie — in his first outing at the helm after racking up a formidable resume of writing credits including Pirates of the Caribbean and Collateral — captures the atmosphere of rural Australia as well as the resilient spirit of youth faced with unspeakable horror.

Killers? Kill me!

Ashton Kutcher's body tries its best to divert attention from the rotten script, but it's no use: the stench of Killers is too strong.

This action-comedy arrives in cinemas just two weeks after Knight and Day, a film which told a similar story in a far superior way.

Zac Efron upstaged, on stage

Me and Orson Welles is such a charming look at the inner workings of the theatre that it may encourage you to sign up to star in a play as soon as it ends.

The play here is a production of Julius Caesar, but not just any production: it's 1930s New York, and rising creative wunderkind Orson Welles (Christian McKay) is staging a bold, daring version of the Shakespeare classic at the Mercury Theatre.

Sci-fi chiller not quite Cronenberg

Splice begins with a terrific science-fiction premise and gradually squanders it with schlocky horror conventions.

Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley star as Clive and Elsa, two highly respected scientists — and lovers — who have found a way to splice the DNA of different animals to create slug-like hybrids, capable of producing proteins that could potentially cure the world's illnesses.

Super powers and their super egos

If you've an interest in world politics — and in particular, the Anglo-American relationship, then The Special Relationship is an incredibly insightful movie.

Michael Sheen reprises his role as former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, this time in the run up to his 1997 election victory, when Blair was still very much riding the crest of his political wave.